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Monster jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the "Free Alterations" sign! What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'? A monster in a traffic jam. What is a monster's favourite society? The Consumers' Association. How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye? When it comes out in conversation. FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it. What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl? A budgerigrrrrr! FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it. FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing. Why is the monsters' football pitch wet? Because the players keep dribbling on it. FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends. |
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