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Monster jokes

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What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

Lots of very worried dogs.

MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?

'I feel abominable.

Why did the monster go into hospital?

To have his ghoul-stones removed.

Monster: Where do fleas go in winter?

Werewolf: Search me!

What is a monster's favourite drink?

Demonade.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans, boiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

What's the hardest part of making monster soup?

Stirring it.

FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner?

SECOND MONSTER: Yes, everyone's been eaten.

FIRST MONSTER: I fancy eating the city of Hong Kong tonight. Care to join me?

SECOND MONSTER: No thanks, I can't stand Chinese food.

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