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Military jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 This is the difference between a lousy Golfer and a lousy Parachutist. The lousy Golfer goes splash then damn. The lousy Parachutist goes damn then splash. Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The Marine said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!" He then approached a second Marine. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the Marine's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan!" said the priest. Father Murphy then walked up to an old SgtMaj and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The SgtMaj replied: "No, I don't Father." The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" The SgtMaj smiled, "Oh, when I die! Why...yes Father. Shit, I thought you were getting a working party together to go right now!" A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says: - You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom. A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around. Q: "What has an IQ of 42?" A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant" Q. "Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?" A. "Because sheep would be too obvious" Q. "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?" A. "So that if the seat falls while they're drinking, it won't smack them in the back of the head" The story goes that Air Force One was over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base "Requesting Radar". "What is you position?" asked ATC "You got radar you find us" Air Force One replied. After a few minutes ATC announced "Air Force One we're changing frequency" "What frequency are you changing to?" asked Air Force One "You've got 720 channels - you find us!" ATC replied. Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there. Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!! |
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