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Mental health jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 Psychiatrist: Well, what's your problem? Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes. Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself. Patient: Really? How do your like yours - fried or boiled? What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic? He charges you double. "The trouble is," said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't tell jokes, I can't act, I can't play an instrument or juggle or do magic tricks or do anything!" "Then why don't you give up show business?" "I can't - I'm a star!" Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'." Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate? Psychiatrist: You've got multiple personalities. Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch? A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leadind a kangaroo."I'm worried about my husband, doctor, " she said. "He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! " Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear. Amazing! so you have. How could that have happened? I can't understand it either, because I planted cabbage! What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist! Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel? Because they are both surrounded by nuts. |
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