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Insect jokes

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A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, "OK, who moved my dog?"


How do you make a moth bawl?

Hit him with a fly swatter.


What insect lives on nothing?

A moth, because it eats holes.


Which fly captured the ladybird?

The dragon-fly.


Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.


What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?

A bite-time story.


Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.


Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.


What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema?

Fancy a bite?


Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other, "You bite him?

I'm driving."








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