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Idiot and fool jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 Fred: Do you think I'm a fool? Harry: No. But what's my opinion against thousands of others? Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying "no"? No. Oh, so it's you! A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet. "What are they for?" he asked the pet shop manager. "Ah well, sir," came the reply, "that's a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, he's a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in the circus. If you pull the string on his left foot he says 'Hello' and if you pull the string on his left foot he says 'Goodbye'." "And what happens if you pull both strings at once?" "I fall off my perch, you fool!" screeched the parrot. How does an idiot call for his dog? He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover. Did you hear about the idiot who made his chickens drink boiling water? He thought they would lay hard boiled eggs. Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed? He said he wanted to grow some birds. I can't understand the critics saying that only an idiot would like that television program. I really enjoyed it. What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch? A cuckoo clock. Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden? He wanted to raise some hard cash. Two men were knocking in nails to the sides of a house, one of them kept throwing them away. "Why do you keep throwing nails away" said the other. "Because they have the point at the wrong end", he replied "You fool, we could use those on the other side of the house!" |
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