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Dead and dying jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 A monster and a zombie went into a funeral home. 'I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died,' said the monster. 'Certainly ma'am,' said the undertaker, 'but there was really no need to bring her with you. If a woman is born in Italy, grows up in England, goes to America and dies in Baltimore, what is she? Dead. Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time." I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead, silly. No wonder he hasn't replied. What is the last thing you eat before you die? You bite the dust. What did the little kid do with the dead battery? He buried it. What is posthumous work? Something written by someone after they are dead! Why did the cowboy die with his boots on? Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket! When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave? Rust in peace! Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon? Because he was dead! |
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