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Computer jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 My computer made a funny sound the other day. Of course, I've never heard it get thrown out a window before. Q. What creature has the best aptitude for engineering? A. The spider -- It has its own website. Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive! As most technophiles are aware, there are special programs to run scanners. These programs use a TWAIN driver to perform the scanning. TWAIN, the acronym, stands for "Technology Without An Interesting Name." Q: What's the best way to accelerate a Mac? A: 9.81 m/s2 A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world." The civil engineer interrupted and said "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world." The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos? One guy was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago! Got this email from a friend: CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard? Customer: "I'm running Windows '95." Tech: "Yes." Customer: "My computer isn't working now." Tech: "Yes, you said that." - Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer? - Well, dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"... |
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