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Clinton jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar. Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene. Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To meet the chick. Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass. Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore? A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton. Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two. Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course! Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, T HAT would be tragedy." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!" Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: "You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home! Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America? A: "Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!" Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft. |
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