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Clinton jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, "Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie." "A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu." She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche." Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet? A: They were dating the same girl in high school. Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying? A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one. Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips are moving, then he's lying. Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright. Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft. Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]? A: He's got his jogging suit on. Q: What's Clinton's favorite baseball team? A: The Dodgers. During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I be acquitted?" Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings. |
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