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Bed jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh, I'm all right at night, it's in the day I have problems. Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks. Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for a spell. The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board. A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. "What's wrong?" asked his mother. "Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed. "In a way they do," said his mother. "And when they die so they turn back to dust?" "Yes, they do." The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going." Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. "I've just bought a pig," said the first. "But where will you keep it?" said the second. "Your yard's much too small for a pig!" "I'm going to keep it under my bed," replied his friend. "But what about the smell?" "He'll soon get used to that." When Mr Maxwell's wife left him, he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed. Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music. I don't think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that? Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake, and gets me up when I'm sleepy! I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role? No, just toast and marmalade. |
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