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Baby jokes

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What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake?

Stop crying and viper your nose.


What do baby pythons play with?

Rattle-snakes.


What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball?

A bouncing baby boa.


What is a baby bee?

A little humbug.


Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village?

Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).


How did the witch almost lose her baby?

She didn't take it far enough into the woods.


What are baby witches called?

Halloweenies.


Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?

He wanted something to get his teeth into.


Knock knock. Who's there?

Underwear. Underwear who?

Underwear my baby is tonight?


My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy.



airplane

Did you hear the one about...

News About Babies


Fastest--Growing Baby Website, TheBump.com, Partners with Mamasource.com to ...
MarketWatch (press release)
"We're thrilled to be expanding The Bump Network with the addition of one of the top mom advice and daily deals sites in the baby industry," said Carley Roney, editor in chief of TheBump.com. "Our focus has always been on growing our brands to provide ...

and more »


ABC Action News

It's a dog's world: In Battle of the Super Bowl ads, babies, man's best friend ...
ABC Action News
So far, doggies and babies have been the bell of the ball. In the number one ad, Dorito's "Sling Baby", a young boy is identified as the antagonist, taunting a little baby from a distance with a bag of Doritos. A grandmother character, who is holding ...
Slingshot Babies, Naked Candy and 'Rocky': What Was the Best Super Bowl ...Patch.com
Dogs, Babies, Celebs And More: Pick Your Favorite Super Bowl CommercialCBS Local
The commercials: A talking baby, an exercising dog and FerrisLincoln Journal Star
Fox News -SB Nation Boston (blog) -Los Angeles Times (blog)
all 1,221 news articles »


Parental guidance: Babies and identity theft
Centre Daily Times
In some ways, a baby or child's identity is more vulnerable than an adult's because a baby or child has never had credit cards. "It's a clean slate," Chaplin says. And parents aren't likely to keep tabs on a child's credit history and may not discover ...

and more »


Mother Nature Network (blog)

Breastfeeding = stronger lungs for babies
Mother Nature Network (blog)
New study finds that the longer babies are breastfed, the better they perform on tests of lung function. If you're a mom with asthma, you may be concerned about whether or not you could put your baby at risk for the condition by breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding tied to stronger lungs, less asthmaReuters
Breastfeeding OK for Moms With AsthmaWebMD
Breastfed babies less likely to develop asthmaMirror.co.uk
WebMD.Boots.com
all 49 news articles »


Mum saves baby son on train tracks
Courier Mail
CCTV footage: Department of Transport Source: Supplied THIS is the moment a desperate Melbourne mother put her life on the line to save her baby son from being hit by a suburban train. As she was distracted for just a second, the dramatic CCTV footage ...

and more »

Google News



About Babies

Babies, all by themselves, are little bundles of joy. If you are near babies long enough, you will do some laughing... it is one of their survival skills along with being cute and cuddly.

There are many things to know about babies. For example, all babies are beautiful, which is very important to recall when your baby places 23rd in a baby contest.


baby-gender
Pick The Gender of Your Baby!


For new dads with twins, here is a tip: When your babies are still small, you may find it easiest to hold them both in the cradle position - that is, across your lap. But holding one in the cradle position and the other in the football position (nearly parallel with your side, with feet extended back, and face facing yours) often works best. And now you can tell you wife why watching all those football games was so valuable...

If you are travelling to Holland, don't confuse this food with real babies... Dutch babies are oven baked, puffed pancakes, very similar to Yorkshire pudding. They may also be called Bismarcks, or German Pancakes,

During the first four months of a baby's life, babies are primarily on the receiving end of language. During the next four months, though, babies begin to initiate and imitate sounds. So this gives new parents four months to learn not to curse!

The reality is that many babies are not quite so "perfect" (however much their parents think they are). Little scratches, sleep in the eyes, snotty noses, dried milk around the mouth, blotchy skin, birth marks and bumps, etc. are common for all babies... But they are still so "Cutesy-wootsy!"




immortality
Alex Chui's Immortality Rings






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