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Mad Magazine 
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Baby jokes Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose. What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes. What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa. What is a baby bee? A little humbug. Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead). How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didn't take it far enough into the woods. What are baby witches called? Halloweenies. Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food? He wanted something to get his teeth into. Knock knock. Who's there? Underwear. Underwear who? Underwear my baby is tonight? My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy.  Did you hear the one about... News About Babies
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About BabiesBabies, all by themselves, are little bundles of joy. If you are near babies long enough, you will do some laughing... it is one of their survival skills along with being cute and cuddly.There are many things to know about babies. For example, all babies are beautiful, which is very important to recall when your baby places 23rd in a baby contest. 
For new dads with twins, here is a tip: When your babies are still small, you may find it easiest to hold them both in the cradle position - that is, across your lap. But holding one in the cradle position and the other in the football position (nearly parallel with your side, with feet extended back, and face facing yours) often works best. And now you can tell you wife why watching all those football games was so valuable... If you are travelling to Holland, don't confuse this food with real babies... Dutch babies are oven baked, puffed pancakes, very similar to Yorkshire pudding. They may also be called Bismarcks, or German Pancakes, During the first four months of a baby's life, babies are primarily on the receiving end of language. During the next four months, though, babies begin to initiate and imitate sounds. So this gives new parents four months to learn not to curse! The reality is that many babies are not quite so "perfect" (however much their parents think they are). Little scratches, sleep in the eyes, snotty noses, dried milk around the mouth, blotchy skin, birth marks and bumps, etc. are common for all babies... But they are still so "Cutesy-wootsy!"
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